The Bridge of Logic Part 2
So what happened after my performance at the IIMB event?
Next day morning, I went and presented to my 2 professors. First of all, they did not come in with an open mind. Societal conditioning that things won’t change affected them. And they just gave me half an hour to tell them my whole theory. I somehow quickly told them about my theory. My theory suggested that the tool what I call is gutmeter is fundamental for us to find meaning in life.
I also talked about a new department to be added to the world organization chart. This department would be called Capability Building Services (CBS), which would drill down the thought of gutmeter through the education system starting from pre-school to high school to work places to all sections of society including corrective units like jails. This department would teach the masses the best books in the world, show the best movies in the world and overall, act as a motivational powerhouse for the world. In simple terms, the analogy would be to electricity running a building. CBS would provide the mental energy for the masses to run the planet, would increase global GDP drastically and increase world happiness. That was sort of the crux of my theory at that point. I’ve talked about gutmeter and happiness functions in detail in one of the other posts (the link to which I’ve given at the end)
My professors dismissed the idea of the gutmeter. They said what if the gutmeter wants the person to suicide or keep smoking or kill someone or do drugs. How is that right? These were questions for which I myself at the point did not have answers. But mathematically, I was convinced that if I were to be happy all the time, I don’t have an option but to follow my gutmeter blindly, no questions asked every nano-micro second of my life. I again realized that there was something missing in my theory. I called it X. And I realized that if I were to ever find X, the credibility of having the IIMB degree would help me scale my theory and idea to larger masses. Hence, I decided to continue my studies at IIMB. I wanted to answer more logically the questions that my professors posed to me – around smoking, suicide etc.
This was Nov 2014 and the gutmeter model got locked on my mental program. I had picked up smoking a few years back. So, after the gutmeter logic got set on my mental model, whenever my gutmeter wanted me to smoke, it naturally made me smoke without having any regrets whatsoever without caring about what’s happening to my health in the process.
What happened over the next 1 year after the meeting with the professors was deeply disturbing. My life goal became my pursuit of X, not even knowing where to start searching, not even knowing whether X exists. But I decided I’m going to put in my infinite effort and find X no matter what. I started going through tons of books on philosophy, psychology, business and subjects that I don’t even remember. I watched tons of youtube videos to get perspectives, all the while just shooting into the dark.
I was subjected to psychiatric treatment. I was put on medication and even to date, I’m on medication. I didn’t care about all that. I bunked classes, got the lowest ever academic scores that I’ve ever gotten for subjects that I knew was a cakewalk for me otherwise. Every day I cried alone in my room not knowing what to do, not having anyone to relate to me and help me out.
The disturbing part was the reaction of people around. Friends thought I was mentally ill and started alienating me. There were times I remember when I was walking and people I knew moved away from me thinking I’ll attack them or something. I felt super lonely. Cigarettes and music became my go-to-buddies. The sun, moon, stars, trees, birds all seemed to be with me on this journey. I haven't slept peacefully for so long. I havent been able to enjoy my favorite foods.
To give you some perspective, let me give you an example. Imagine you’re put in a mental health care center where you’re only the sane person. Everyone around you are insane on an absolute scale. And they’re just walking around like zombies.
As I mentioned in one of my previous posts, I believe that you enter the universe with a sound logical program that the universe loads on your mind. It gets adulterated with illogical societal notions over time and on an absolute scale, we’re all mentally ill. I suddenly realized through the gutmeter that life needs to be looked at incrementally and not through long term planning which society largely teaches us. When you look at life incrementally through the gutmeter, you end up being happy every tiny second as against long term planning where you are only happy discretely.
So when I suddenly realized that everyone is living life incorrectly, I felt the moral responsibility to show everyone the path. And suddenly in the world mental hospital, I realized I’m the only one sane and every around is acting like a zombie. The doctors, professors – everyone around was mentally ill on an absolute scale. And whoever I was trying to tell my logic to was infinitely negatively conditioned that none of them could relate to me.
It was a super solo lonely journey – The next few months. I do not know how I ended up passing my courses. There were times when my gutmeter wanted me to kill myself – several times. But the thought that even if there is the remotest of remotest probability that I can find X and make the solution acceptable to a larger audience, I should fight through. So the same gutmeter which made me suicidal pulled back into my vision of creating a happy world.
I cannot possibly explain how difficult my life was. My family was super concerned about me. I was so powerful in the way I was talking and when my parents used to ask me to stop working on my theory, my gutmeter would ask me to get angry at them and I used to shout at them constantly on every call I used to have with them.
Fast forward a few months, my Mckinsey internship started. I felt that my team wasn’t solving any real problem. I was in pursuit of a much bigger problem. But the thought that someone with a Mckinsey brand will be taken more seriously pushed me to work with mentally ill people solving some random business problem. Again, I do not know how, but I landed with a full time job offer after my internship.
After that, the 4th trimester came. This was transformational as I finally found out X. I had to stretch my mind beyond any possible measure that I had done before.
One day during the 4th trimester, I decided that enough is enough. That I’m not going to sleep until I figure out X. I had scanned gone through endless books, articles, videos in this pursuit. I decided I’ll have to seriously sharpen my thinking if I were to figure out X.
What is X?
I wanted sustainable change throughout with my CBS and gutmeter ideas. I thought I were to quit college now and go out in the world, I might get some following/might end up creating a cult. I don’t want to do that. So the next thought was if I don’t want to create a random following/cult, may be let me look at the past and look at people who’ve created such followings and see whether I can do something right that they did wrong. My scope of analysis became narrower. I decided to look at religions and see whether there was something religious leaders could have done differently if their philosophy was the ideal philosophy. I took 2 religions specifically. Buddhism and Christianity. When I studied both these religions, I realized that their religious leaders went outside the organization structure of their kingdom and created the religions. Had they convinced the people directly above them and took their philosophies to the top of the kingdom, the king would be convinced and the king can permeate the philosophies in a sustainable manner across the kingdom. I’m sharing screenshots from a linkedin post that I put up in this regard to convey the idea clearly.
So after almost a year of pursuing X, I had finally found it. X was that I have to work within the constraints of the existing system to change the system. If I were to go outside the framework of the predominant system running the world, I won’t create sustainable long term change. Work within the constraints of the system to change the system from within.
This all of a sudden made me realize and explain how religions got formed. I believe that all these religious leaders existed as people. If there is such a big following for each of these religions, there would have been some source. Science and logic has to remain agnostic on this. So, in my mind, logically, I realized how history got shaped and how religions got formed. Imagine if all records of Gandhi’s existence was hypothetically wiped out – all photos, videos and everything on record. 2000 years down the line, people will question Gandhi’s existence as well. It was not the fault of religious leaders that technology wasn’t available during their time to capture their presence. This made me realize at a deep level that religious leaders were just normal people like me with their own philosophies.
This was super overwhelming. The entire illogical societal notion of God/infinitely powerful creator got destroyed in my mind. The conditioning that society had created in me that humans have limitations and only a God like entity can control the world was totally shattered in the program running on my mind. The physical and mental liberation of energy and potential in me that night when I realized this was simply phenomenal. It was too much for my body to handle. My body felt like it was going to explode. Seriously!
I didn’t sleep that night and I went to class next morning with my body trembling. However, not a single word that the professor was saying was registering in my mind. Like I said, my body felt like it was going to explode. So I walked to the prof, told him I’m really unwell, went to my room, took extra doses of my psychiatric medication to reduce energy levels and tried going to sleep. The last thought I remember having before sleeping that day was that now I need to work within the constraints of the existing system to change the system from within. This means that I need to make sense of every class that I go to. Every business case discussed in class tries to solve a real world problem that would make someone happy. So that final thought hit me and I realized that now it makes sense to attend classes at IIMB and with my body getting overpowered by universal energy release, I went to sleep
I woke up 24 hours later. Slept one full day straight. And when I woke up, it was magic. X got programmed into my mental model and my gutmeter naturally took care of the constraints of the existing system and I was able to solve daily real world problems in super creative ways using the infinite potential that was now made available to me. A class assignment my friend was working on for 5 days -I finished it in 2 hours. It felt that creativity was flowing like water in my problem solving skills. If you’ve seen the movie called “Limitless” where Bradley Cooper takes an artificial drug to access his limitless potential – TRUST ME – it was way better than that for me. Every single problem around me, I was like a supercomputer solving problems. I don’t want to brag too much about what all I was able to do. If you want to get a clear idea, the movie Limitless gives a small glimpse of what human potential encompasses.
Now, it was about working within the constraints of the system and going up the organizational ladder to take my work to the UN. For that I wanted to first convince atleast one professor who is teaching me. I wanted to know whether there was still something wrong with my theory. I felt it was rock solid. I felt CBS/Motivational powerhouse equivalent needs to be added to the world organization chart as a practical solution.
I wanted to see how my solution fits into the larger macro economic scenario. I was not an economist but with infinite access to potential now, in seconds I could think of how my solution fits into the larger macro economic scenario. And the following is what I came up with.
Until 1930’s, the world was largely governed by free market economics where supply and demand will natural find an equilibrium. However, during the 1930’s, there was the great depression which made everyone question the free market theory. That’s when economist John Maynard Keynes came in and said that in the long run everyone dies. So you cannot just leave the economy to the invisible hand to find the market equilibrium. Governments need to intervene actively for everyone’ welfare. That’s how Federal banks/Reserve banks came in as part of structured policy intervention and that system has been running the world ever since. Now, had Keynes come up and stated this when free market economics theory had just been established, nobody would have accepted Keynes. The depression was the tipping point which made everyone question the existing system leading to Keynsinian economics coming into picture.
I started looking at Happiness the same way. Currently happiness of people is left to each individual. It is like a free market economy equivalent of a situation where some people are happy somehow, some others are sad and stressed. At some point in the future, this will lead to a humanitarian crisis. This can be seen in increasing average stress levels in society now as compared to our ancestors. The stress levels will increase, hit a threshold and create a depression equivalent humanitarian crisis. To prevent that, I’m just stating that take Keynsinian intervention from the past as a learning and intervene NOW itself to prevent a future humanitarian crisis. This active intervention by governments will disruptively boom the economy as stress levels would be structurally brought down and it can solve long term issues like poverty, unemployment by taking the economy forward.
And once I realized the above, I felt that now my theory is robust enough to be taken up the ladder. I wanted to first present to a professor who I knew would relate. I chose Professor Ramya Ranganathan from the Organization Behavior department of IIM Bangalore and pleaded her to hear me out. She agreed to listen. I created a 80 page deck with all the learnings that I had in the last year. There are so many insightful learnings which I’ll be posting as separate blog posts which you can read later.
After I presented to Professor Ramya, she was overwhelmed. She said that I might win big recognitions for my work like a Nobel prize or so. I honestly did’nt care about that. Below are few screenshots from my interaction with her after my 7 hour lecture. You’ll see a word called Gratitool in it. You can ignore it for now. That’s a tool in my theory, a blog post about which has been written. You can check that out once you’re done reading.
Here is a link to her linkedin profile in case you want to check her credibility. https://www.linkedin.com/in/
After the lecture with Professor Ramya, she went and asked our dean Prof Sourav Mukherjee to listen to me. He refused. But Ramya ma’m argued with him and finally he agreed to listen to me after I come back from exchange term which was starting in a few days. My gutmeter realized that that’s a constraint of the existing system that I need to work with and decided to come back after exchange and tell me Dean, take it up the ladder to some entity like the UN.
In the mean while, some of my juniors came to me for preparation help for their summer placements which was happening in a few months. I felt that it was not right to help out just a few people. I decided to create a book containing my preparation notes. Now, I had infinite potential at my access. I started the book and within a matter of a few days, the book was ready and I sent it out to all my juniors. That book has been passed on across batches at IIMB. It’s also reached other campuses in India and I regularly get messages from people on linkedin thanking me for the book.
My exchange term started. My exchange university was in Milan. The university did not have attendance and I decided to travel across Europe. I literally felt that the entire universe was telling me through my gutmeter that “Son. You’ve done enough. You’ve gone through a rough ride. Now take a break”. And I decided to chill for a few months. I travelled to multiple countries across Europe. There is a separate blog post dedicated to that.
But now, something even more magical was about to happen.
I had a crush on a girl for a decade. I thought I was in love with her. But I did not have the balls to tell her about it for a decade. Finally, I went to Delhi where she was studing (year 2011) and was about to tell her. She tells me that she is already dating another guy. That destroyed me completely and in 2011 I turned an alcoholic briefly. Luckily I was able to get out of that. Fast forward to my exchange term, turns out that she was staying in Switzerland and her husband was working for the UN. And I had gotten strong feedback from my professor that my work needs to be take up the ladder. So, I thought why wait for my exchange term to get over. Why not contact my crush (her name is Maria) and ask her for an appointment with Arun (her husband).
Just look at the situation here, 3 of us could have been any point in space-time. But the variables in our lives aligned so beautifully so bring us together. As Ramya ma'm rightly mentioned, this UN link seemed to have been orchestrated by the universe.
Sent: Tuesday, October 13, 2015 7:55 PM
To: Issac jojy <issac.jojy14@iimb.ernet.in>
Subject: Re: CCS Project for Term 6
Some of my IITM friends whom i met in Europe found a very different behaviour of mine. I was all of a sudden talking about Nobel prizes, utopian society etc. They got concerned and mailed Ramya ma'm to know of the situation. Below is a mail from MNIthin to ramya ma'm which Ramya ma'm later forwarded to me.
On 05-Nov-2015, at 2:53 AM, Mithin Jac Mathews <jac.optima@gmail.com>
wrote:Hi Madam,
I am a friend of Issac Jojy for the past 8 years from the time we met first at IITM. CC’ed are a few more friends of his who have spent five years in college with Issac. After college all of us moved on from Chennai for work and tries to catch up once or twice every year. We have been hearing from Issac about the transformation that he had went through after placements in IIMB. Although none of us have heard his theory in the form of an 80 slide lecture we are a bit concerned about him.
He stayed at my place for the last 5 days and had quoted your name several times. We learnt from him that you have been in constant communication with him and believes that his idea can bring a drastic change to the world. He also asked me to talk to one of our juniors (named Bimal) from college who had listened to the lecture. Apparently Bimal and his 5 friends met Issac somewhere in Europe and Issac totally believes that he managed to convince Bimal and his 5 friends. So i contacted Bimal and got to know from him that all 6 of them think that there is something wrong with Issac.
All of us feel that Issac is a bit too excited about this idea of his and couldn’t understand why he believes very strongly that it is gonna transform the whole world in a matter of a few months. According to him, his idea can logically explain all the phenomenon from Big Bang to current affairs, existence of God etc. He sleeps less, talks incoherently at times, links everything to his theory, smokes continuously and claims that his body will not be affected by it due to his new state of mind!
Yesterday Issac told me about his plans to meet Arun who is working as an Economist with UN in Geneva. His plan is to gain access to the shortest path up the power ladder so that he can scale his lecture globally. He says you are in full support of this plan. We are a bit worried that if Arun find his ideas and behaviour abnormal this might not end well.
We would like to know your views on this whole situation and Issac’s behaviour. I guess our circle was the closest to Issac and we struggle to comprehend the situation. We did not want to counter his theories and take this up directly with him as we are not sure how he would react. He seems so obsessed with his idea. We hope that you are more aware of what is going on in his mind and please do let us know if there is anything to be worried about.
Thanks & Regards,
Mithin Jac Mathews
Structural Engineer
Projects & Technology
Shell
Den Haag, The Netherlands
And the below was Ramya ma'm's reply to Mithin
From: Ramya Ranganathan <ramyar@iimb.ernet.in>Subject: Re: Issac JojyDate: 8 November 2015 3:45:14 PM ISTTo: Mithin Jac Mathews <jac.optima@gmail.com>Cc: Ramya Ranganathan <ramya.ranganathan@iimb.ernet.in>, nikhil s <nikhilblucky@gmail.com>, Yahiya Hamsa <yahiyahamsa@gmail.com>, Alex J V <alexjv89@gmail.com>, Sourav Mukherji <souravm@IIMB.ERNET.IN> Dear Mithin (and others),
Thanks for writing and updating on this. I was travelling and just got back an hour ago. This mail is concerning (and a bit worrying) for me. I am copying Sourav (another faculty here (who is also our dean) who knows Issac's story), because I am not sure what to reply (or what advise to give you and the other friends of Issac).
Here is my stance: I think Issac is very brilliant and his ideas deserve encouragement. He has a strong motivation to help others (the whole planet literally) and I would not want to curb something like that. Yet his sense of urgency and dare I say (overconfidence) overwhelms me. I have been forwarding some theories (and links) to him over the last 2 months or so to try and connect him with other theories that are similar to his. I want him to acknowledge that there are other people out there who have created and written theories that have components similar to his. My aim is to make him do a literature review of all these existing theories so that he can see that others have thought on similar lines in the past. However, to Issac's credit he has come up with his own theory experientially (which I think is commendable).
I just saw about 5 long emails in my mailbox from him. I still have to read them fully but they all seem to be about requesting help with writing a paper and making a presentation on his theory.
I will be writing back to him today telling him I cannot work at his pace (and trying to ask him to slow down). Apart from that I am going to hand over to Sourav to see if we need to intervene in any way to keep his smoking and sleep habits in control.
More later - I just reached and need to attend to some other things as well. Please do keep me (and Sourav) updated. Also I will be mentioning to Issac about this communication. I'd rather not have this conversation going on behind his back. I think he is very mature and will understand we all care about him and that is why we are concerned.
Warmly
Ramya
So in the middle of my chilling time in Europe, I again decided to work on my vision. In the middle of all this, I was presenting my work to my friends, all of whom thought I was crazy but in my mind, it felt so right. And then, I pinged Maria on facebook. Wanted to get Arun’s attention. So told him that my professor has said I’ll win multiple Nobel prizes. The interactions with Arun/Maria are shown in the next page. Please read them carefully.
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